Identity, confidence, authenticity

Let's talk a little about identity, confidence, and authenticity as a dancer📷

📷This thought process started for me at COA. The challenge was when dancing in All-Star/Champ strictly, I felt so small, like I was nothing. What is the point of me dancing there if everyone is watching Big Champs and I am just filling the room between them? So I started talking to people, asking them what they think differentiates Champ from All-Star. And I think it's energy. And why do Champs have such a big contagious attractive energy that is irresistible to watch?

📷Charisma, character, personality... And each champ is so different. So how can we build up such energy that the person will feel in the furthest corner of the ballroom? Finding or knowing and fully accepting yourself! It's not about being arrogant, letting your ego rule, or wearing a fake mask. I don't want that. It's about knowing yourself and letting others be themselves.

📷We all struggle in one way or another with confidence at comps, missing phrase change, falling, dropping partner, being stressed about not making finals or not placing first, or overthinking what people will think if you do that move or wear those shoes or outfit, or being in pain when somebody criticizes or not appreciates your dancing. I do too. Very often, I feel very nervous or like I am not enough, or I doubt that the partner I draw enjoys dancing with me. People usually tell me they would never guess that I am nervous, but I am. We know we can hide what we feel.

📷And we all know when we are being 100% unapologetically ourselves and feel so confident and at peace with ourselves, and we don't care what anybody thinks or says. At those moments, we fully accept ourselves, relax and just be very present at the moment.

📷I know what kind of dancer I am at my best. I know that state of mind, peace, and joy when I am fully myself. I am like a fountain of energy at those moments. I am very relaxed, free, risky, courageous, emotional, sensual, sensitive, and feminine. I truly live during those moments. I feel the most alive ever, the truest, the most honest, I feel like I love everyone, and the feeling of giving and sharing explodes in me. It's like inspiration and ideas are flowing into my body from the powerful source up there. I don't think and plan. I flow.

📷Do you ever see me like this at comps? I don't remember those examples. Maybe on the social floor sometimes. I think I am 10% of my capacity at comps. Why? I can't relate to some types of music. I know as a professional, I have to. And I am trying. But that's not true me- it's an appropriate safe version of me. We can call it a "strategy that works," but sadly, nobody sees me the way I can be. Slow lyrical, emotional songs drive me and are the most natural for me. And I need to trust my partner fully; I need this deep connection and acceptance from his side like it doesn't matter what I do; he supports me and appreciates me. This missing part sometimes blocks and freezes me preventing me from dancing my best. Professionals must deliver great dance to any song with any partner. But we all are also humans with insecurities.

📷We all know those magical, memorable dances that every dancer craves to have. When nobody cares about placement but will remember this dance for years and rewatch it million times. One of the most iconic dances for me is Chris Dumond and Cameo at TAP 2021 to "Dancing by my own." What a magical song that helped dancers to show their best!

📷I don't blame DJs; I feel compassion for them because they are in a very difficult position and will never be able to please everyone. I am begging them before playing something in spotlight finals to think a minute or two if there is a chance that a good meaningful dance may happen to this song. It's teamwork- DJ, dancers, spectators- we all create those magical moments together. I mean, sometimes we all obviously agree that one couple got the worst song. I kindly respectfully ask DJs for mercy.

📷So there are a couple of things I wanna suggest from my own experience that made me feel very good as a dancer and will help you to see and find yourself :

1. Chuck Brown's "Emotion in Motion" intensive. I could never imagine I could perform like that. Fearless, true, high energy. Never allowing myself to be like that at comps, though📷
2. Laurie Schwimmer private lessons. This is the happiest I ever felt as a dancer. I wish I could ever dance at comp at even 25-50% of what I was at her lessons. It's unspeakable joy. You can not imagine how different you can be without trying lessons with her. Laurie is gold. I hope there is any other teacher who teaches similar things. Sadly I am unaware of them, so please share them with me if you know.
3. Rosemary Whitson online classes. OMG! You can not imagine what important things she brings up. In what kind, the supportive, healthy way she talks about mindsets and identifying yourself as a dancer!!! Highly recommend! She impressed me so much with her kindness and honesty! I could repeat all her words in this post, which I agree with, but I think it will be fairer if you check out her classes. Reach her out-it will make you and her happy!

📷So I know my strong sides and what I can be. It makes me sad as an artist that I haven't found a way to dance my best with any random partner to any random song at comps. Maybe that's why I am craving routine so much because this is the position when you are in control of the song and the choice of a partner so you can present to the world the magic you have in your wildest dreams.

📷So, what are your values? What are your qualities, strong sides, and characteristics that make you feel good about yourself? What are the strong sides you can water them more so that they bloom even more and will make your own style and brand? If you figure it out and stick to it, believe, and move forward with kindness- then competition results will not ruin your weekend, and no matter how you place, if you dance fully you-you will inspire others to be themselves, not copying each other.

📷My goal is to figure out how on a regular basis to be that different Maria that almost nobody saw, to perform this magical routine I have in mind with the right person, and this way, inspire others to be themselves.

Much love, Maria