Parenting — heal yourself first

Kids are pure vessels full of life. It is a miracle how true and authentic and real they are. And then, slowly, they become conditioned by their parents' behaviour, by their parents' emotions. It is one of the heaviest responsibilities I know — helping a child navigate what they feel.

If we teach them, by reaction, to block their natural emotions — if we are too aggressive, or we withdraw — we do real damage. When they learn to block anger, they also block their joy. And then comes the rest: depression, anxiety, passive-aggressive resentment, coldness, low self-esteem, illness as the body's way of speaking what was never allowed to be spoken. Disconnection from yourself, from what you want, from who you are. Children will always try to please the parent, because the fear of being abandoned runs deeper than any other fear. What we water will grow.

Parents — I feel you. We are going through so much stress, carrying our own traumas, and still trying to show up. The best gift you can give your child is to heal yourself. To understand yourself. To learn to live all your emotions — even anger — in healthy ways, without hurting others.

God built our nervous system. God built our emotions. Emotions are valuable guides; they are not the enemy. We need to let them be, and we need to learn healthy ways to express them. It takes a sincere desire in the heart to move toward love and peace. It takes so much courage to face yourself. It takes so much patience.

Hurting people hurt other people. Love is the only right answer.

Take care of yourself. Face the truth. Know your limits. Ask for help. It is an illusion that other people are living a perfect life — social media lies. Everyone is going through something. Be kind to each other. Find someone to share with, someone to lean on.

We should stay positive — but healthy positivity is facing the truth that hurts and still walking toward love, with hope and patience and faith. Unhealthy positivity is closing your eyes, numbing the feeling, reaching for whatever lets you not feel.

It is better to heal earlier than later. But it is also better later than never. Everything is for the best. It's all going to be good. Love heals and covers everything.

Whatever you are going through, my friend — you are not alone. Take the first step toward healing, and the path will unfold.