Coming back to dance after having a baby

Let's talk about coming back to dancing after having a baby(s)📷

I would like to share my personal experience of being a mom of 3 ( 4yo boy and 15mo twins a boy and a girl) – my thoughts, insights and what influence it has on my dancing.

Motherhood changes everything, turning your lifestyle, priorities, attitude to situations, thoughts upside down. From now you don't belong to yourself anymore.

With delivering my first baby all my time was devoted to the little one who needed me the most in this universe . But I used to be a multiple-task and inpatient girl at the beginning. I wanted to get back to my dance body as soon as possible, to prove my medical diploma in the US as soon as possible, achieve, and achieve, and achieve… But the reality is the following – no good sleep (up to 5 hours awake at night) and having no naps during the day brought me to zero level of energy.

In addition, the baby was crying almost all the time when he wasn't asleep during about first two months because of colic, and as a result, I became really depressed and could find the energy to smile only to my baby. So according to my own experience, I would give an advice not to be in a hurry and slow down, calm down. The most important thing to do during the first months is just rest! Sleep whenever possible, accept help, ask for a help. The more support you'll get -the better. I am lucky to have a solid support from my husband always being on my side. Parents could be very helpful, but relatives of mine are quite far from here.

Getting used to a new body was difficult. I was trying to do fitness almost every day, attending social dancing. But with caring heavy things ( baby, car seat, stroller) and with this early rushed fitness I got issues with my back and couldn't walk without pain for months. Good chiropractor and regular stretching saved my back but it took a lot of time.

With my first baby I was dancing while being pregnant until the delivery day. Physical activity has lots of benefits for moms-to-be( if you don't have any health issues). But I would highly recommend telling your partners that you are pregnant and ask them to be easy on you. Because sometimes it's not obvious that you are pregnant and leaders can do dangerous things without having the intention to harm you. So please be more careful with that!

Dancing after delivery is also different during the first couple of months. You need to get used to your new body, weak muscles, slow reaction (because of being always sleepy and tired), not that perfect balance,etc. I was also telling my partners to be easy on me as I had issues with my back. I did social dancing for the first time after delivery when my first baby was about 3 weeks. Now I understand it was way too early. And my mind wasn't fully on the dancefloor with my partner. It was mostly at home with my baby. With twins I wasn't able to dance during pregnancy and had my first dance during Wild Wild Westie 2021 when twins were 6 months.

I set myself really high standards of dancing and was depressed when I couldn't dance even nearly like that. Now I understand that it is getting much better with time, I just need to be patient and to do small steps but regularly. Also, don't compare yourself with others. You never know what they went through and each person has own challenges.

About dance conventions – my husband told me that he will stay with the baby whenever I want to go to event. But being sleepy, tired, pumping milk, different body – all these make the event very different from what I got used to. I did one convention as it was in the city where I lived. But in the evening when I needed to drive to the event hotel I was like: "Oh my God! Maybe I'd better go to sleep… Why don't they do conventions in the morning?!" I spent just a couple of hours on the dancefloor but I appreciated every moment, dance and partner. There is the very different value of time for yourself when you become a mother. I decided to come back to traveling to events a little later because now it's time to enjoy my baby growing, not to miss his milestones and to give him all the love he deserves.

All these made me realize that I need to change attitude to life. I just can't survive in this race of achieving goals as soon as possible right now. And with time I changed my thoughts.

One of the main insights of motherhood was – There is no need to hurry. And it's about everything – life, dancing, career. I was very stressed out, nervous, anxious about being on time with all my goals. I found my formula for happiness – "Being right now, right here, with all of me at the moment". You can never be happy if your thoughts are always in the past or in the future. Enjoy every little moment, especially with baby-it is so precious and you will not be able to repeat it.

There is always something good even if it seems that life is too challenging. Focus on positive moments. Taking everything with humor makes things much easier. Know that everything in life is happening for the best even if you don't see it at the beginning.

Don't ask why it is hard, ask what you can learn from this situation. I believe that having babies helps me to become a better person, improves my time-management, helps me to learn to say NO, makes my priorities more clear.

I think motherhood is teaching me qualities for WCS dancing that I always was lack of. Each teacher was telling me one and the same thing – "Maria! Calm down, be a follower from time to time, learn to whisper in your dancing not screaming all the time, Be patient." So, if I apply this to my dancing it would be good for me. Now I understand that less is more. WCS is not about solo dancing and just showing off, it's much more about being a good partner, working in a team, listen more than saying. I really like my new calmness, patience, and peace inside and hope I will apply it into my dancing.

Being a mother doesn't mean to me that I need to give up my dreams, it just means that it will happen a little later and that's totally fine.

P.S. Forgot to mention my favorite life hack for new moms- when time feels right buy a membership to fitness club/gym with childcare. It's awesome way to find time for yourself if you don't have baby sitter or anybody to help. You don't have to workout, you can just chill in shower or sauna or swimming pool, or just sleep in changing room📷or drink coffee in silence while they will take care of your little one for 1-2 hours.

Much love, Maria